What I help with
Relationships
When the same patterns keep showing up with the people who matter.
What it can feel like
Maybe the same argument keeps coming back in a slightly different form. Maybe you feel lonely in a relationship that looks fine from the outside. Or you notice that you give and give until you're resentful, go quiet when you're hurt, or find yourself drawn to people who aren't good for you.
Relationship difficulties aren't limited to romance. Friendships that have drifted, family dynamics that pull you back into an old role the moment you walk in the door, conflict at work — all of these can take up a lot of space in your mind.
What's happening underneath
We learn how relationships work from our earliest ones. The ways we handle conflict, express needs, and protect ourselves from hurt are often strategies that made sense in the family we grew up in. Many people also absorb messages about what it means to be strong — that needing others is weakness, that feelings should be kept private — which can make closeness harder than it needs to be.
When two people's protective strategies meet — one pursuing, one withdrawing, for example — they can lock into a cycle that neither person wants. Seeing the cycle clearly is often the first step toward stepping out of it.
How therapy can help
I work with individuals rather than couples. In our work, we can look at the patterns you bring into relationships, what you need and how you ask for it, and how to set boundaries or have difficult conversations without losing yourself or the connection. Change in one person often shifts the whole dynamic.
Approaches we might draw on
- Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)Interpersonal effectiveness skills for asking for what you need, saying no, and navigating conflict.
- Parts WorkUnderstanding the parts of you that get activated in relationships — the pleaser, the protector, the part that shuts down.
- Narrative TherapyLooking at the stories about love, gender and family that shape how you show up with others.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)Clarifying the kind of partner, friend or family member you want to be, and acting on it.
Want to talk about what you're going through?
A free 20-minute consultation is a chance to share a little about what's going on and ask any questions — with no obligation to continue.