What I help with
Self-Esteem
When the harshest voice in your life is your own.
What it can feel like
Low self-esteem isn't always obvious from the outside. You might be capable, well liked and successful by most measures, and still feel like a fraud who is one mistake away from being found out. Compliments slide off. Criticism sticks for days.
It can show up as over-apologising, struggling to make decisions, needing reassurance, or holding yourself to standards you would never apply to anyone else. Sometimes it looks like perfectionism; sometimes it looks like not trying at all, because not trying feels safer than trying and falling short.
What's happening underneath
How we see ourselves is largely learned. If love or approval felt conditional growing up — on grades, on being easy, on not needing too much — it makes sense to conclude that your worth depends on performance. Those conclusions are often made very young and then quietly run the show for decades.
The inner critic usually has a protective job. It may be trying to keep you from being rejected or embarrassed by getting to you first. The problem is that its methods — constant pressure, comparison and put-downs — tend to leave you more anxious and less able to act, not less.
How therapy can help
In therapy we can look at where your beliefs about yourself came from, whether they still hold up, and what it might be like to relate to yourself with the same fairness you'd offer a friend. The aim isn't to replace the critic with forced positivity — it's to develop a steadier, more honest view of yourself.
Approaches we might draw on
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)Identifying core beliefs about yourself and testing them against the evidence of your actual life.
- Parts WorkGetting to know the inner critic as a part with its own fears, rather than a voice you have to obey or defeat.
- Narrative TherapySeparating who you are from the story you've been told about yourself, and noticing what that story leaves out.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)Stepping back from self-critical thoughts so they have less influence over what you do.
Want to talk about what you're going through?
A free 20-minute consultation is a chance to share a little about what's going on and ask any questions — with no obligation to continue.